


Obviously

by CaptainMartello



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Marauders' Era, Misunderstandings, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-14
Updated: 2012-08-14
Packaged: 2017-11-12 03:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/486036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainMartello/pseuds/CaptainMartello
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus Lupin has a secret. He's acting strangely, showering separately and disappearing regularly. Sirius is fairly sure he knows what's going on.</p>
<p>"There is only one possible conclusion. Our sneaky little bookworm of a roommate, is obviously a girl.”</p>
<p>All that's left is to prove his theory. Operation Remus' Secret is a go!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Obviously

“James, it’s obvious now!” Sirius Black bounded across the Gryffindor dormitory and jumped onto his best friend’s bed, demanding attention. Said best friend, clearly unimpressed, looked up from trying to draw yet another rendering of Lily’s face. Despite all his academic prowess, the poor boy really was a terrible artist. 

“What now?” said James Potter, in a bored tone.

“I’m a genius! Well, of course you already knew that. But anyway, I have been so absolutely, ridiculously, marvellously brilliant that I’ve even astounded myself. Why-“

“Spit it out, Sirius.” The other boy pouted and then paused for a second, hesitating.

“I know where Remus goes every month.” James put the drawing down and raised an eyebrow at Sirius. 

“Isn’t his mother really sick, or something?” Sirius gave a small snort.

“That’s just what he wants you to think! Come on, Jamesie, think about it. He disappears once every month, really regularly, and just before that he gets all grouchy. I could have sworn he growled at you last week. And have you ever seen him naked? Or even without a shirt on?” James looked confounded, sitting up on the four-poster.

“Why? Of course I… actually no, I haven’t.” 

“Aha!” exclaimed Sirius, victoriously. “Plus, have you ever seen a guy with skin that creamy or a face so soft? There is only one possible conclusion. Remus Lupin, our sneaky little bookworm of a roommate, is obviously a _girl_.”

“Wh-?” babbled James, shell-shocked. 

“And he disappears every month…” Sirius wrinkled his nose with distaste and mild terror, “for his ladytimes.”

Across the room, Peter’s mouth gaped open and the plate of food he had just carried in clattered loudly to the floor, spattering cream all over the flagstone. James was silent for a few seconds whilst his brain struggled to regain the ability to form words.

“Why, why would he do that?” That seemed to stump Sirius for a second. He hadn’t thought about that, actually, caught up in the triumph of figuring out the intensely private boy’s secret.

“He probably wants me. Can you blame him… I mean, her?” He gave Peter a lascivious wink and wiggled his hips. Peter fainted, keeling over to land face first in the trifle he’d dropped earlier.

“Bloody hell,” said James, looking a little ill. “You broke Peter.” They looked at each other for a moment before breaking out into howls of laughter. Hit by the utter ridiculousness of the situation, they laughed at the thought of quiet Remus in a dress, they laughed at Peter, out cold with a plate of cream for a pillow, and finally they just laughed at each other’s faces until they were quite out of breath and tears rolled down their cheeks. James was the first to sober up, Sirius’ words preying heavily upon his mind.

“But in all seriousness-“

“I’m _always_ serious!” exclaimed Sirius, beaming. James poked him. “Ouch!”

“That joke got old in first year and you know it. Now, back to what I was saying. He can’t possibly have done this for you, because he didn’t meet you until he got here, idiot.” he explained. 

“Oh,” replied Sirius dejectedly, flopping back onto the deep-red covers of the bed. James rested his chin on his hands, looking contemplative. 

“No... I definitely think that Remus is hiding something, but this just… can’t be it,” he mused. “We need to gather more evidence.”

“Why, Mister Potter! Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”

“Why, yes I am, Mister Black. It is high time for a _cunning plan_.”

“Operation Remus’ Secret is a go!” shouted Sirius, grinning wickedly. He looked down at the other occupant of the room, who was still unconscious on the floor with a face covered in cream. “Now, are you going to dump water on Peter, or shall I?”

  


* * *

  
When Remus returned to the dormitory just before the 8pm curfew, all three of his roommates were sitting on James’ bed, plotting animatedly. Peter looked like he’d just been dragged through a car wash, soggy and covered in what Remus assumed had been some kind of pudding. As soon as they heard the door shut behind him, they fell suspiciously silent. Meeting their eyes, he saw James looking him up and down speculatively and Peter’s eyes almost popping out of his round face. Sirius’ expression was unreadable as he smiled weakly. 

“You know what? I don’t think I even want to know.” Sighing, the young werewolf walked past the guilty-looking teenagers to his own bed in the corner of the room, carefully depositing his schoolbag and shoes before climbing onto the window seat and picking up his book.

“Er, good study session today?” asked Sirius in a strangled voice. Remus stiffened. Something was definitely off. They couldn’t have found out, could they? No. They’d be understandably angry at being lied to about living with a dangerous dark creature for three years. It couldn’t be that. He’d just have to try and act normally for now.

“Fine, thanks. We managed to cover most of the uses of _hagalaz_. I’m pretty much exhausted now, actually” he said honestly. Sirius let out a short laugh.

“You work too hard! We do have another year left until O.W.L.s, you realise. What kind of name is _hagalaz_ anyway? Ancient Runes sounds mental.” Remus put down his book with a smile. He really was shattered. The full moon the week before had been particularly violent and was still taking its toll on his body.

“It’s more intellectually rigorous than _Muggle Studies_ at least,” he retorted.

“But… the muggles are fascinating! They make awesome music and fly without magic and have strange hair and do ironing and drive cars, I _really_ want a car, and-”

“And taking the subject makes your parents angry?”

“And taking the subject makes my parents _furious_ ,” agreed the disreputable heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, with a smirk. The tension in the air having abated somewhat, they exchanged banter for a few more minutes whilst Remus gathered up his things and James and Peter suddenly realised that they had a Transfiguration essay to complete. Although Professor McGonagall wasn’t that old (compared to the average Hogwarts teacher, that is), she was definitely one of the most unforgiving when it came to missed homework, especially since she’d become Deputy Headmistress the previous year. Remus definitely didn’t envy James and Peter their task.

“’Night, Sirius. ‘Night, everybody” he laughed with finality, grabbing his pyjamas and a battered toothbrush and leaving the room to go and get changed in the bathroom down the hall. He’d changed here, in a poky shower cubicle, every day since first year, without fail. Seeing his scars would raise far too many questions, questions to which he didn’t think he could find convincing enough answers. Even in here he had his wand and a practiced Obliviate at the ready, just in case. 

Of course the Gryffindors suspected something. He should almost be surprised that they hadn’t figured it out already. James and Sirius were extremely intelligent (not that you’d guess it from how silly they acted) and Peter was clever in his own way. For all of Remus’ excuses, disappearing once a month isn’t something one can easily brush off. To make matters worse, the last full moon had fallen on October 31 and he’d had to miss the Hallowe’en Feast and spend the whole of the next day recovering in the hospital wing, which had been quite conspicuous. Sirius had teased him about having a hot date. As if.

The tired young werewolf rubbed his neck awkwardly. All of the secrets and lies were draining, but this was the price he had to pay for his new life. He had never thought he’d be able to attend Hogwarts, to have a few years of just pretending to be a normal student. He had friends now, for Merlin’s sake! This was probably the best it was ever going to get. Even if he did manage to get a wizarding job, he wouldn’t be able to hold it down very long. Nobody wants to hire a werewolf. He slid down the wall of the stall to sit on the grimy floor, old sorrow touching his face.

As much as he enjoyed the company of James, Peter and… Sirius especially, something would always hang between them. His behaviour couldn’t be explained away. He’d never have _best friends_ to share his secrets with. Letting anyone see his scars was also out of the question, so he’d never have a lover either. This was the price he paid for continuing to live after the attack. Not everyone was so lucky. 

Remus clambered up from the floor, resigned. He’d just have to be extra careful from now on. He wanted to stay at Hogwarts more than anything, so he couldn’t let them suspect anything else. Who knows who they’d tell if they found out? Dumbledore? The Prophet? The Ministry? They wouldn’t want a dangerous dark creature for a friend.

Obviously.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm new at this, **please** let me know what sucked :) Also yes, there was a full moon Thursday, 31 October 1974.


End file.
